So next Saturday we are flying to Mexico for the 2 week vacation that we had to cancel this past January because of cancer treatment. I just finished trying on the shorts and capri’s that I couldn’t get on this summer. I am thrilled to report that I am able to get them on after these past 10 weeks of healthy eating. The dedication and hard work I have put in over these weeks is paying off.

I am looking forward to engaging in the exercise component again. (I had a body flair up that sidelined me for the past 4 weeks). Exercising, combined with the awesome eating plan,  will make a big difference in shedding my Tamoxipause fat layer.

Now that I knew I had my lower half covered, I began to wonder what I would look like in tank tops. This last summer I lived in my dry fit t-shirts, I didn’t even make an attempt to try on my form revealing tank tops! I opened my drawer and pulled out half a dozen tanks that haven’t seen the light in a long, long time.

I picked up the beautiful cherry red one, pulled it over my head and turned to face the mirror. Not too bad! Without breasts, the shoulder straps fit a little awkward over my pec muscles. Literally there is nothing I can do about that accept adjust the fabric. Once I got the material sitting in the most flattering position, I thought things looked pretty good. With my hands on my hips I turned to check out my side profile. Between my new curly hair, sparse eyebrows and concave chest, I didn’t recognize the image staring back at me. For a few moments I felt really deflated. I mean, how can I go to Mexico when I look like this! As panic set in, I tried on a differed style tank top with wider shoulder straps and a different cut neck. As I turned to view my side profile, I breathed a sigh of relief as this top was more flattering. Clearly the form fitting, cotton spandex blend tops are not the style for my new physique. Those tops will NOT be making the trip down to Mexico this year! 

I decided to try on all the clothes I was planning on packing. If my tank tops caused that much upset, I better see what’s up with everything else. I pulled out the cute sundress I bought the last time we were down in Mexico. It fits decent when the material is just right. Depending if there isn’t too much shifting I can pull it off. Worst case scenario is the top material works its way down, because I don’t have boobs to keep it up, and I won’t be able to feel it. Even then it’s not like I’m exposing anything! I tried on a couple of other dresses, and like the tank top experience, certain cuts definitely look better than others. It’s funny, the clothes that looked “hot” on me with breasts are now the least flattering ones with my new body!

Next up, bathing suits! I spent a lot of time and money on finding a bathing suit a couple of years ago. It fit beautifully and I felt confident in it. I pulled it out and the bottoms fit just fine, the top, not so much. Maybe I should just go topless! I still have enough time to stop by the home care store and buy a set of water boobs for bathing suits. Basically it’s a form filled with plastic beads that pins into a bathing suit. It gives shape to the cups and lets the water pass through. I just need to decide if I should dish out money for that, or just not worry about it for this trip, and find a new suit that fits my body when I get home.

While my new look will take some getting used to, no matter what I wear, I now understand that some styles and fabrics are more flattering to my new me, and it will be worth taking the time and effort to figure out what that look is and invest in new clothes that reflect who I am today. I know boobs don’t define who I am, but nice fitting clothes do seem to make me stand a little taller.